Life is full of decisions and mine is no exception. I need some help guys and gals, tell me, is it worth it? Well before you answer it you need to know what it is. I’m in a new stage of my life, the transition to adulthood is almost finished and everything is finally being situated, however, that isn’t to say that everything is clear and concise. There is this girl that I dig, it’s nothing crazy like I’m going to die without her, or shit, it’s just she’s kool and I wanna get little closer to her. Here’s the problem: she has a friend, but he’s not just a friend, he’s a “friend,” but has benefits with her. I wanna get closer but I’m trying to read where she’s at, you know? Like, how in the world am I gonna get close to you when you have a guy that’s constantly kissing on you and getting in your business. I’m fine with them being together but she’s flirting with me hardcore and I am too, but I wanna find a clear cut from her as to whether she’s just messing with me and really head over heals for him still or being real and is legit with wanting me like that. Girls are confusing, but God help me I love ‘em. So those who read this, give me some input and try to help a brother out. Thanks and peace out. Also, listen to the song I’m going to post right after this, listen to it while reading this, it’s awesome. Kevin, out. 

   What is living strong? What is living free? It’s simple, take what gets you down and let it go. You don’t believe me? You say it’s hard? Well I know that it’s hard, all the important things in life are, but that’s not the point. The point is that you do them anyway, because it’s what’s worth doing, it shows character, but back to the first question…So you don’t believe that you can let it go and move on? Well let me help put it into perspective in a way that everyone can relate to, through a story. 

   In an old house, worn not by time but by life, there lives an old woman. She sits at a table in the living room by the fire on a cold December night, where no sound is heard but the wild thoughts of a fiery spirit trapped within a decaying body. She sits alone in this house looking at this book- its pages thin, crisp, and almost as fragile as the her, in fact the book is seventy eight years old, which is roughly a decade short of its owner. As her winkled and worn hands caress the soft, crimson cover of the book, her fingers outline the impressed words upon its face, Ma Vie (My Life). She begins to crack it open with an ever so gentle sound of the pages splitting apart, as if they had not been opened in quite some time. The smell of memories quickly overwhelm the woman and she’s thrust back to her youth. She closes her eyes and continues inhaling time and falling back through herself. Opening her eyes after this great wave of emotion, she looks back at her hands and notices that they’re no longer old and winkled but young and soft. She gets up from her chair and puts the book down and goes to the mirror in the hall adjoining the living room and the front door. She touches the mirror in disbelief with one hand, and in the other her face as she gazes in awe at her complexion. Her blue eyes glisten in the reflection while her silky black hair surrounds and flows around her milky white face. Her bright red lips slightly part to reveal a smile. A cool breeze  catches her arm and she puts her hands on it. She stands silent for a moment, thinking to herself about how good the breeze felt, “which is strange,” she thought as Winter isn’t a season for pleasant winds. She continues to look into the mirror while pondering this and realizes that her clothes aren’t rags anymore, nor are they any type of Winter wear, in fact it’s quite the opposite. She is now in a sleeveless, red with white poke-a-dot dress that flows all the way to her knees, even stranger than that is the fact that it’s warm……She goes to the front door and opens it only to discover that not only has the season changed, but also the time. It’s now a Summer day, with beautiful white clouds sailing above and the sun shining brighter than she’d seen in a long time. The wind catches her breath and her dress and both go flying. Managing to regain both, she starts running through the field in front of the house. This would have gone on for some time had it not been for something that caught her eye. Far off in the distance there lay a stone of a fore foot stature. Letting her curiosity get the best of her, she went to the stone and began to read its worn words. “Scotty Morris Johnson, brother, friend, lover and the man that stole my heart. Born May 29th, 1924, died March 18th, 1942.” “My God,” she begins to cry as it all comes back to her…“I wrote this at his funeral.” “Scotty, my baby…” She grips the stone as tears violently fall from her eyes and trickle down between her trembling fingers. Bam, Bam, BAM! fist after fist strikes the stone until she can’t lift her hands anymore, then she lays her head on the stone and weeps with what energy she has left as her mind wonders through all the memories of him she has until she reaches the last one.

   February 14th, 1941, it was at a coffee shop in Queens. “There I sat, waiting for my hansom man before his departure to Europe. I couldn’t wait to see him, whenever he is around, nothing else matters, only that I am his and that he loves me.”

   "Fifteen minutes to the dot Mr.Johnson, you sure like to keep a girl on her toes. Well I don’t mean to miss Daisy but the time of a military man is quite limited. I know; I’m just messin’ with ya darlin’, come over here and lay some sugar on me. Muah! Is that better baby girl? Yes, yes it is lover boy. Now tell me, what’s a lonely girl like me gonna do without my man here to keep me company? Well miss Daisy, I can’t promise it’ll be easy but if you go out and look at the night sky on the farm, when all the stars come out to play, just stare at them and wish, pray and hold onto this for me. What is it??? Well open it up and look silly! “Click” (intense, yet quiet inhale) baby, I don’t know what to do. Just say yes and it’ll be alright (smiles). YES, YES, YES a million times YES!!!!! I’m so happy that you’ll be mine when I get back baby! Love you more than you know but I have to go, here hold onto this too while I’m gone, a little something to remember me by. MUAH!!!“

   "It was at this point that my knees almost buckled and no sooner had I recovered that I saw him running out the door and off to his duty, all the while looking at me and dreaming of the day when nothing else would matter but each other, sadly that day never came. About a year after this Scotty was caught in the line of fire protecting his fellow soldier, a clean sniper shot through the head got him. No one saw the sniper but him and because of that, another was given the liberty for a happy and whole life. I miss him so much…" 

   As the skin around her eyes, where the stone and her tears met, became raw and as she fell off the stone something caught her, something strong, something gentle, warm. She looked up through puffy, red eyes and saw him….Leon, Leon Hartman. After the war ended she moved to Cali and started college. Still hurt from the death of her sweetheart, she was in no condition to feel anything, especially love again, but fate had other plans. It was on her first day in English Composition that she met Leon- a well dress, well kept college kid. At first she was shy but after he discovered her wrist tattoo of Scotty’s name, he helped her keep living, keep strong. He said nothing but lifted her from the stone and carried her away into the sunset. She looked deep into his eyes and as the horizon got darker and darker, she saw, all at once, their life together, their children, home, car, grandchildren and finally his funeral when he died from cancer of the heart. She gripped him tight and clinched her eyes as tight as she could, hoping that it would never end, but like all great things, one must end for another to begin. Her hands turn the last page and she closes the book, upon opening her eyes she stares at her hands and sees that age has crept back and old has chained her down once more. She then pulls out a little brown box from her pocket and opens it. Inside two rings lay and she puts on both while looking into the fire of her living room and reflects on her life and smiles with contentment as she slowly drifts into sleep, upon which she never awoke. Her body fell limp and her wrist turned, revealing the tattoo of Scotty’s name, and above it Leon’s name. 

   Wasn’t that nice? You see, Daisy got it, you don’t have to forget the one you love in order to move on, you just have to understand that even though that person has a place in your heart and always will, you can still make room for another, someone who has a shoulder for crying, a face for kissing and a heart for loving. That’s what that person you love would want, for you to be happy, even if it’s with someone else. Remember my friends, Live Strong, and Live Free.